There are thousands of half-babies in my ballsack and that’s terrifying
at least you don’t bleed them out every month
you make a compelling argument
realistic captions for selfies:
- i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
- i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
- i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
- i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
- this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation
It’s like being dead without the commitment.
an open relationship with death
death with benefits
I only wanna be hot so I can be rude and antisocial and mysterious and get away with it
